I want to thank you for so many things today. And that is because today is a rough day.
Today is a day where getting off the couch felt harder than the race I just did. Where I am playing everything that has been said to me in the past 24 hours in my head on a loop. Reliving, analyzing and hating every aspect of what did and said. The self-doubt prevents me from even trying because I'm paralyzed. I sit and stare hoping I can force myself to regain the motivation that I once had.
But I cannot forget you, dear friend. Running you have been my escape for the past 5 years. You have been the time where I can feel proud of my accomplishments. Where there are no failures, only learning from a run. Where my mind is set free and the loop has been broken. You got me thru hard times. Thru dark times. Thru times I didn't know what else to do.
Running you allow me to take care of myself and give myself permission to be selfish. I allow myself to take the time to be ready for the run, to spend the time enjoying every painful step and gasping breath. It is the time where I cannot do work, I cannot multitask and I can only focus on what is happening to myself.
I finish each run proud and accomplished. My brain has been cleaned. My view of myself is positive and I am ready. I become ready to go back to being a wife. To being a boss. To being a daughter. Being a sister. And being myself. I come back from every run as myself again. Running you all be to turn back from being dark and cloudy to be happy and bright.
Running you've changed me.